Out of Nowhere
by Grissom1
Summary: This story picks up at the end of the episode Butterflied.  It's another version of how Grissom and Sara may have hooked up.  I promise lots of GSR fluff, angst, romance and some humor here and there.
1. Chapter 1

**Out of Nowhere**

Chapter One:

Grissom's jaw twitched as he sat there silently and observed the doctor. He knew the man was guilty of murder but they didn't have enough proof. This case wasn't any different that half a dozen others except this case had gotten to Grissom. It was personal.

"Thank you for your time and your theories, but you said it yourself: You don't have a case." Lurie and his attorney started to leave.

"It's sad, isn't it, doc? Guys like us. Couple of middle-aged men who've allowed their work to consume their lives," said Grissom quietly.

Lurie stopped and listened. Brass thought it was strange that the man would stop to hear what Grissom had to say even though he knew they could not hold him. Perhaps it was Grissom's tone that got his attention. There was a sadness to his voice.

"The only time we ever touch other people is when we're wearing our latex gloves. We wake up one day and realize that for fifty years we haven't really lived at all. But then, all of a sudden ... we get a second chance." Grissom has caught Lurie's full attention now.

"Somebody young and beautiful shows up. Somebody we could care about. She offers us a new life with her but we have a big decision to make, right? Because we have to risk everything we've worked for in order to have her." _I could have had Sara. She would have loved me._

Grissom looked down at his pad. "I couldn't do it." His eyes mirrored the sadness in his heart. He looked up and their eyes met. _I gave up the only woman I've ever loved._

"But you did. You risked it all." Grissom continued to stare at Lurie but he looked away for fear that Grissom would see the truth reflected in his eyes.

"And she showed you a wonderful life, didn't she? But then she took it away and gave it to somebody else and you were lost so you took her life." _I should have risked it all for Sara. _

"You killed them both, and now you have nothing." _I have nothing._

Vincent Lurie responded quietly, "I'm still here."

"Are you?" asked Grissom.

Through the glass, Sara watched Grissom sitting at the interview table, her image reflected in the glass. Brass glanced at Grissom as he left the room. Lurie and his attorney left. Grissom lowered his head and shook it. He was tired. The man had taken the chance he had denied himself and he ended up killing the one person who loved him. The irony of it hit home.

He was no better than Lurie. At least Lurie had killed quickly. Each time Grissom turned Sara away, he added another cut. _I've become one sick bastard. I enjoy watching her bleed. I enjoy seeing her hurt over and over. I'm no better than Lurie. I don't like the person I've become._

Sara watched in disbelief as Grissom remained seated and stared at the table. She wondered what he was thinking at that moment. She started to go into the interrogation room but decided that she would be the last person he wanted to see right now. His words played over and over in her head. She wanted to comfort him but she didn't know how. She would never want him to risk his job. She had never thought about their situation. She wondered if she had worked on another shift if things would have been different.

The thought of never working with him made her sad. If he still rejected her she would not even have the pleasure of his company but then again at times it had been very painful to work with Grissom knowing that he did not return her love. Her head had begun to pound and she made a retreat to her office.

What do you mean Grissom is gone?" yelled Catherine.

Ecklie grabbed her by the arm and led her into Grissom's office. His face had already turned red prior to getting down to the lab and he wasn't about to go into any details.

"You will be acting supervisor until he gets back. That is if he comes back."

"What do you mean by that? What happened to Grissom?"

"That's all I am going to tell you." Ecklie started to walk away and then decided he had better not bury the hatchet too deep since Willows would be the natural person to replace Grissom if he never returned.

"Look Willows, I don't like this any more than you do but he made a written request over my head for a leave of absence and I just found out about it myself."

"When did he make the request?"

"Three hours ago. Don't bother trying to call. He left his gun, ID and cell phone here on his desk." Ecklie pointed to the contents in plain site. Catherine's heart sank. Grissom had finally had enough.

Catherine watched as Ecklie walked down the hall. She made a bee line to the break room where the others were waiting.

"The grapevine is correct. Ecklie just told me I'm acting supervisor. It seems Grissom requested a leave of absence a few hours ago."

"When will he be back?" asked Warrick.

"He may not come back."

Sara dropped the coffee cup she had been holding and its content spilled onto the table. No one seemed to care since they were still trying to digest the latest information.

"I don't believe that. Grissom wouldn't up and leave and not say anything to us," said Nick. "Would he?" He looked around for some validation but got none.

The room got very quiet. They could not imagine the office without Grissom.

"I don't understand it. Why now?" asked Catherine. "He has always confided in me and not a word." Sara felt a pang of jealousy. Grissom had never confided in her although she had offered an ear, a hand, an embrace, a… Sara didn't finish the thought. Anything she had ever offered had been rejected and now he had left. Her stomach was churning and her eyes were burning. She just wanted to get out of there. As soon as the shift was over, she headed out the door. She slowed when she saw Brass standing by her car.

Brass was a good friend. He had befriended Sara even though his long time friend, Grissom did no such thing.

"How about some breakfast?"

"Not this morning. I'm afraid I wouldn't be much company. We just heard about Grissom." Sara kept her face turned downward. She didn't want Brass to see the tears that had begun to fall.

"That's why I wanted to have breakfast with you. I need a favor."

Brass had never asked anything of Sara.

"Your treat?"

"It's the least that I can do for what I am about to ask you."

Brass had peaked Sara's interest. She got into Jim's car and they drove away.

Note: I am going to be writing this short story as I continue with The Sessions. Let me know how you like it so far. Any suggestions are welcomed. I have already completed 4 chapters but they have to be proofread. Thanks to those readers who leave me reviews. Its the reason I continue to write. You're great!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two:

"You want me to what?" asked Sara.. Her voice had gotten loud but Brass didn't seem to mind. He was desperate.

"Sara, I wouldn't ask this if I felt there was no other way."

"He isn't going to like it."

"I don't care. We can't afford to lose him. He needs someone to remind him of this."

"Why don't you ask Catherine? He confides in her."

"He didn't bother telling her he was leaving."

"Why me?"

"He left because of you."

The statement struck Sara square in the face. She dropped her fork and it clanged on the plate. Brass waited a moment before he continued.

"He feels guilty for hurting you. He told me that if he stayed he would just continue to do so and he would never expect you to leave so he left."

"That's stupid. He could have just said he was sorry and then moved on." Sara bit her lower lip.

"Ah, but that's the problem. He can't move on. You're the only person that has ever gotten through to him. He knows that he can't have you but he doesn't want to give you up so he hurts you instead. It's a cruel scenario."

"That's a bit perverse don't you think?"

"Love sucks. So are you going to do it?"

"Are you sure this is going to work?"

"No but the way I see it, if he turns you down, it won't be anything new. He's done that before."

Sara made a face. Jim smiled. He knew Sara wasn't going to turn him down. She was desperate too.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three:

Sara pulled out the road map as she filled up with gas. She was in the middle of nowhere headed to Nowhere. She smirked at the thought. She popped into the convenience store and grabbed a cup of coffee. She had just pulled a double and now she had spent the last 10 hours on the road headed to Nowhere.

Sara read the written directions Jim had made for her and threw them onto the car seat. Based on the directions, she should be getting there soon. She was relieved to see the small paved road leading off the main highway. She smirked again. The main highway was just another small road off another small road off another main highway off… she decided to hang onto the directions since she wasn't sure which direction led her back to Las Vegas.

Sara saw Grissom's vehicle parked beside the cabin and she smiled. She had found him in the middle of nowhere at Nowhere. She got out of the car and stood on the front porch. She glanced at the small white sign nailed on the cabin, "Nowhere."

Brass had a sense of humor when it came to naming cabins. She knocked on the door but there was no answer. She looked around but did not see anyone. _He has to be here. What do I do now?_ She sat down in the rocking chair and propped her feet up on the railing. The chair was comfortable. Sara closed her eyes and listened to the wind blowing softly through the trees. There were a few birds singing nearby. It was peaceful.

The drilling of the woodpecker on the side of the cabin woke Sara. She jumped up and for a moment could not remember where she was. She glanced at her watch and groaned. She had been asleep for three hours and still no Grissom. She then noticed a path leading away from the cabin and decided to follow it. She found herself down by the lake and there was Grissom sitting in a boat fishing. Actually, his pole was sitting beside him and he appeared to be asleep. Sara smiled.

She made her way down to the wooden dock and stood there. _Now what? _She smacked at the pesty mosquito that had been biting her along the trail. She had wished she had been better prepared. She looked around and with no other choice, yelled "Grissom!"

Grissom was startled by the sound of Sara's voice. He jumped up from his position only to lose his balance. Sara laughed as she watched Grissom fall out of the boat. He tried to grab for his fishing pole but it was too late. It sank to the bottom of the lake.

"Sorry!"

"Get off the dock, it's not…"

Grissom did not finish. The sound of crackling alarmed Sara but it was too late. The dock gave way and she plunged into the water. The icy water took her breath as she fought her way back to the surface. She slowly climbed out of the water and onto the bank. Grissom waited to make sure she was okay and then swam over to the boat and brought it to shore. He pulled the boat up onto the ground and then walked over to Sara. She sat on the edge of the water trying to catch her breath.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Good to see you too Grissom." Sara started to get up but the bank was slippery and she landed back down on her rear. Grissom turned his head and smirked. Sara was humiliated, cold, wet and hungry. This was not going well.

Grissom pulled Sara up to a standing position. He then returned to the boat, took out his catch and headed back to the cabin. Sara followed. Along the way, she smacked at the mosquitoes and hoped that Grissom was better prepared than she was.

Grissom opened the cabin but stopped Sara at the door. "This is where we part. I don't know why you're here but you're not welcome." He shut the door in Sara's face.

This infuriated Sara. She stood there and glared at the door. She wasn't going away that easily. She banged on the door but Grissom ignored her. "Grissom let me in!"

"Yell all you want to. There are no neighbors for miles."

Sara banged on the door once more and then stopped. She had hurt her hand from the pounding. Grissom heard her call out an expletive and he yelled out "Go home Sara." He continued to clean the fish for dinner. An hour later, he opened the door and was surprised to find Sara sitting in the rocker.

Her teeth were chattering by now and the mosquitoes had taken their share of blood.

"I thought I told you to leave."

"I would have but unfortunately my car keys are somewhere at the bottom of the lake."

Grissom's jaw twitched. He turned around and went back inside. This time he didn't shut the door. Sara took the offering and went inside. It was a small but warm cabin. She immediately ran to the fire and stood there. Her hands and feet were numb. She sneezed as she tried to warm her hands. The smell of the food was wonderful.

"I hope you brought a change of clothes."

"It's in my car. My locked car." Grissom left the room and returned with a pair of sweats. "These will have to do until we can get your car unlocked and you can leave."

Sara took the clothes. She went into the bedroom and closed the door. It was a small room but the bed seemed inviting. She was worn out and wanted nothing more than to crawl into the bed and go to sleep. She remembered he had not given her an invitation

so she returned to the fire and sat down in front of it. Her hair smelled of fish but she didn't care. She just wanted to stay warm. She looked around the cabin and realized there was only one bedroom. She spied the couch and sighed. _It's better than the floor._

Grissom continued to tend to the dinner. She yawned as she stretched out in front of the fire. It felt so good to be warm again. She looked down at her arms and legs and groaned. The small red bumps itched. She tried to ignore them but there were too many.

Grissom glanced in her direction and then tossed the first aid kit over to her without saying a word. He had said very little to her in the last hour and he didn't plan to.

_Damn Jim. I know he is behind this._

"Could I have a cup of tea or coffee?" asked Sara as she sneezed. She could feel the initial effects of a cold coming on.

Grissom poured her a cup of coffee and handed it to her. She thanked him and then headed back to the fire. She sat down on the couch and stared into the fire. She grabbed the blanket on the couch and wrapped herself in it and lay down. Grissom glanced over at her and she had fallen asleep.

He sat down and ate dinner by himself as he contemplated what he was going to do with her. He then contemplated on what he was going to do with Brass. Neither were pleasant thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four:

Sara awoke to the crackling of the wood in the fireplace. She glanced around the room and found Grissom sitting in a chair reading a book. She slowly pulled herself up to a sitting position. She felt like shit. Her nose was already running and her throat was scratchy.

He looked at her over his glasses and she cringed at the expression on his face. Suddenly she wished she had not agreed to come.

"It wasn't my idea." The statement made Grissom scowl even more. She licked her lips and continued. "We were concerned about you and when Brass told me where you were, I thought I could come and talk some sense into you." She glanced over at him but his expression was the same.

"Grissom, I'm sorry. As soon as we get my car keys replaced, I'll leave. We can just call a locksmith… They do have locksmith?"

"In the middle of nowhere?" Grissom expression did not change.

Sara did not like the tone in his voice.

"Sorry." She was in a fix and didn't know what to say. Her stomach growled and she remembered she had not eaten in … well she couldn't remember when she had last eaten.

She looked at him but he had returned to his book. She got up and headed to the kitchen. She found a plate covered with a cloth napkin sitting on the table. _At least he doesn't expect me to go hungry. _ She stared at the contents on the plate. _Fish _Tonight she decided she was not going to be a vegetarian.

Grissom peered over his glasses and watched as Sara ate. She closed her eyes with each bite. She managed to get down three bites before running to the door. He could hear her on the front porch and he chuckled.

Sara returned and sat back on the couch. She stared at the fire and sneezed. She leaned over and grabbed a hand full of Kleenex and blew her nose. She sounded miserable.

Grissom pretended not to notice but then realized he was holding the book upside down. He glanced over at her and saw that she had noticed his error.

"Okay, now that we have tried to ignore one another. Would you like to tell me why you're really here?"

"Brass sent me here to try to convince you not to quit your job."

"I haven't quit my job."

"You…"

"I took a leave of absence. I needed a break."

"But everyone thinks…"

"That I quit? Well what if I did? It's none of your business"

Sara sat there quietly. She refused to make eye contact with him. She softly whispered, "I would rather leave Las Vegas than for you to leave the lab."

"I don't care what you think. Nobody asked you." The tone was harsh and the words stung. Sara had extended an olive branch and once again he had stomped on it. She swiped the tears from her eyes and blew her nose.

She got up and walked over to the fireplace and began putting on her shoes. Grissom looked at her. He felt like an ass. "Sara…"

Sara had already crossed the room and opened the door. She slammed it shut behind her.

She knew that it would be impossible to find her keys in the dark. She looked up the road and her shoulders slumped. She guessed it was at least ten miles back to the main road and then she would be at the mercy of the townsfolk to pick her up. She started walking.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five:

Grissom cursed under his breath as he heard the door slam. _She'll change her mind once she's sat on the front porch for awhile._ He continued to read but then realized he had been reading the same page for the past hour and threw the book down on the table. He tried to listen for any noise but there was none. He sat there in the chair and began to fume. _She's stubborn like a mule. She's been out there for an hour in wet sneakers and no jacket. _

He got up and swung the door open but Sara was gone. Grissom walked onto the front porch and cursed. _She's going to walk out of here!_

Grissom fished his keys out of his pocket and jumped into his vehicle. It only took him a few minutes to find her walking along the road. He pulled up along side her and rolled down the window. "Get in."

"Bite me Grissom. I would rather walk."

Sara kept on walking. She coughed as she continued along the road. Grissom turned off the ignition and jumped out of the car. He grabbed her by the arm and she whirled around to face him. He could tell she had been crying but he pretended not to notice. He didn't want to hurt her anymore.

"Sara, I'm sorry for being an ass back there. Please let me take you back to the cabin. If you want to leave in the morning, I will take you to town myself. This is not Vegas. The town literally closes up for the night after 9:00 pm." Sara looked at the road and then back at the car. For a moment Grissom thought she was going to walk but she turned and headed back to the car and got in.

When they arrived at the cabin, Sara's coughing became persistent. Grissom made some hot tea for her. She took it without a word. He then heated some soup and brought it to her. She took the soup and held the bowl in her hands. She was still freezing. She sat directly in front of the fire and waited for it to warm her body. She continued to cough and sneeze. Grissom felt miserable. Sara was miserable. His sabbatical was off to a great start. The one person he needed to get away from was now in the same cabin with him. _I'm going to kick Jim's ass. _ Sara refused to look in Grissom's direction. She continued to fume over her predicament. Why had she listened to Brass? _I'm going to kick Jim's ass._

It was getting late and Grissom knew that they were stuck in the cabin for at least a night. He offered her the bedroom but she refused motioning that she would take the couch. He thought about trying to smooth things over but then decided it was best to leave things the way they were. He got up and went into the bedroom.

Sara was relieved when he left the room. She finished the soup and made another cup of tea. She tried her cell phone but there was no service for the area. _Well duh Sara! You're in the middle of nowhere. _

She curled up on the couch and lay there watching the fire. She heard footsteps in the bedroom. He seemed to be pacing back and forth. She didn't care. He had been cruel. There had been words between them before but not like this. He acted as though he detested her. She remembered the conversation he had with Lurie. He had all but admitted that he had wanted her but wouldn't risk his job. _He would admit that to a murderer but not me! Men! Well, I don't have to take this shit anymore. _ She stared at the bedroom door and decided to take matters into her own hands.

Quietly, Sara opened the front door and stepped out into the cold. She waited to see if Grissom had heard the door. When she was sure he hadn't, she walked over to his car and bent down. The air was chilly as she waited until the tire was completely flat. She then realized that he would have a spare so she flattened the back tire as well. _There now I've done it. We are both stranded. _ A chill ran down her back. She hoped it was because of the air. She would soon find out.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six:**

Some time during the night, Sara heard a noise and she glanced up to see Grissom sitting in the chair. She wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there.

"Grissom?"

"Like a moth to a flame…" was all that he would say. He continued to sit there quietly and stare into the fire. She tried to stay awake but the cough medicine had made her drowsy. She drifted back to sleep as Grissom watched over her.

He could tell she was asleep again by her even breathing. He wondered why she had gone outside earlier. At first he thought she would try to leave again and he had been ready to chase after her. It was the least he could do after all these years. Why she had been the one to chase and he had been the one to retreat so many times before.

If he thought that she was growing tired of the cat and mouse game, he would offer her a small token of companionship, a gesture, a look or a kind word. She would follow and he would chase her away. It was a sick relationship. He wondered why she insisted on letting him treat her this way. She could easily have anyone she wanted. She deserved better.

Every fiber in his being wanted to scoop her up into his arms and make love to her. He knew she would let him. He couldn't. He had almost talked himself into retiring so that he would be free to see if he could have a real relationship with Sara but then the fear set in. He might just find out if he truly was like Lurie. Lurie had killed when he had been rejected by the one person he had chosen to love. He could not imagine ever hurting Sara but then he could never imagine ever giving Sara up to another man. _If I can't have you_ _then no one will_. Lurie's motto echoed in Grissom's head. It scared the hell out of him.

He didn't think he could ever survive her rejection. He knew he could never survive if she loved him and then left him. He knew he had to take the same chance that Lurie did. He couldn't… no he wouldn't go on like this.

Grissom glanced at the clock on the wall. It would be day light soon. He would have to find a way to get her to stay longer. At the moment he was tired and needed some sleep. He rose from the chair and started to return to the bedroom. He glanced down at her sleeping form. _God, how I love you. If you only knew._

He quietly walked over to the couch, leaned down and ever so lightly kissed her on the forehead. Just the slight contact with her skin aroused him and he bolted from the room in fear that he might break down and give in to his primal urges. He retreated this time. He wasn't sure if he could or would next time.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Sara awoke to the smell of bacon cooking. She grimaced. He looked over his shoulder and could tell she was awake. He politely asked if she would like anything but she shook her head. She started to ask for a cup of coffee but then realized she had lost her voice. _Great! If he wanted to kill me, I couldn't even scream but then again there is no one to hear me. Great Sara!_ Grissom saw the look on her face and asked if she wanted coffee. Again she nodded. He made a face but brought the coffee to her.

"Look, the least you could do is talk to me. Giving me the silent treatment is juvenile don't you think?"

Sara fumed. She opened her mouth but only every other word came out. He stared in disbelief.

"There is a God in heaven. Sara Sidle has lost her ability to talk." He returned to the kitchen before she could throttle him. He rummaged through the cabinets taking out different items and then began mixing a concoction up in a pan. Sara noticed that more firewood had been placed on the fire. She wondered how he was able to do so much and not wake her up. _It's called exhaustion. I wonder how long it will take before he discovers the car. _

She had been lost in thought when a cup was shoved into her face. She glanced up at him and he motioned for her to take it. She took the cup and smelled the contents.

"Don't worry. It's just something I found that helps for just your ailment."

She took a sip and it actually did not taste bad. Of course, the liquor helped.

"After breakfast, we can go into town and see about finding a locksmith." He returned to the kitchen and set the table.

"How about some oatmeal?" Sara nodded. Anything would be good at that moment.

_Except fish._

After breakfast was done, Sara cleaned up the kitchen while Grissom went outside. She started to count in her head. She expected an explosion any moment. Grissom returned with a scowl on his face. She turned her back so he could not see the expression on her face.

"It seems we are both now stranded."

Sara turned around to face him as if in shock.

"It seems I have a flat tire."

"Spare?" whispered Sara.

"It seems I have two flat tires."

Grissom walked over to the door and picked up a small tool box. He left Sara standing there. As soon as he closed the door, he grinned. _She flattened the tires! She wants to stay. _

She grabbed the blanket and placed it around her shoulders. To her relief, her shoes had dried overnight so she slipped them on and went outside. Grissom was working on the trunk of her car.

"How bad do you want your clothes?"

Sara gave a thumbs up. He proceeded to pry the trunk open. He grinned when it popped open. He pulled out the suitcase and brought it inside the cabin. Sara followed.

"Okay, we can sit it out here for a couple of days at which time a delivery boy is supposed to come with groceries or we can walk out of here."

Sara waited for him to answer but surprisingly he didn't. He looked at her for a reply.

"Wait" she croaked. _I can always run if I have to._

They spent the next couple of hours playing scrabble. There were one or two arguments but fortunately there was a dictionary to resolve the conflict. In the end Sara skunked him. She smiled when he congratulated her.

It was the first time in their relationship where they shared each other's company and it was not work related. It was rather nice. The uneasiness and awkwardness was gone. It was replaced by a feeling of companionship.

They took a mile hike along a path behind the cabin and stopped to admire the view. It was a bit chilly but it was good to be outdoors. Grissom pointed out the different species of plants and trees and Sara listened intently. She would smile each time he looked at her. He seemed to enjoy her company and she no longer felt like an intruder.

Sara was surprised he did not ask to go down to the lake to look for her keys. Then again, she didn't relish the thought of getting back into the icy water again. She decided they would just have to get a locksmith eventually.

Lunch had consisted of sandwiches and of course a rematch of scrabble. Grissom grinned when he had managed to get several triple word scores. Sara on the other hand didn't seem to mind she just enjoyed his change in mood.

The afternoon was spent discussing favorite books and authors. Sara smiled when Grissom admitted they had a lot in common. Just the mere admittance however made him scowl and he went outside to gather more wood for the fire. The weather had changed from a cool sunny day to storm clouds. By mid afternoon, the rain began to fall. So did Grissom's mood.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight:**

Sara took it upon herself to cook dinner that night. She refused to eat fish. She managed to find enough ingredients for a nice homemade soup. She curled up with a book while the soup simmered on the stove. The aroma was wonderful. Grissom on the other hand paced the cabin floor. He had become much like a caged animal. Sara tried to think of something that they could do. She decided she would play him at a game of chess.

They sat down face to face and looked at the board. Sara admitted she knew very little about the game which made Grissom grin. Within the hour, Sara had been defeated quite easily. He had tried to give her a few pointers but Sara's mind just wasn't in the game. She was actually relieved when he had beaten her.

Sara excused herself for a leisure bath before dinner. She rummaged through her suitcase finding some toiletries and headed for the bath. The warm water was soothing on Sara's many mosquito bites. She leaned back and closed her eyes. She was awakened by the soft knock at the door. She quickly dressed and opened the door.

Grissom had already set the table. She noticed he had opted for wine glasses. She wondered what other surprises lay in store. They finished the soup in silence. Grissom's mind seemed to be miles away. It was Sara who opted to discuss work. She decided it was a mistake.

"How long do you plan to be on extended leave?"

"As long as it takes."

Sara gave him a confused look but then Grissom was known for his cryptic statements.

"I didn't know Lurie bothered you so much. It's not like he is the first to get away with murder."

Grissom stared at her and then excused himself from the table. He grabbed the wine bottle and glass as he left.

_Okay, I've hit a nerve. _Grissom walked over and sat down on the couch. Sara followed.

"Grissom, would you like to talk about it?"

"No."

Grissom's jaw was clenched. He continued to drink the wine.

"You're not like Lurie," whispered Sara. Grissom finished the glass of wine and stared at Sara.

"I'm more like him than you know."

"Why do you say that?"

"He killed the person he loved. I just enjoy killing mine slowly." Sara took a sip of wine. _Did he just admit that he loves me?_

"Grissom…"

"I wish you had never accepted the job offer. I wish you had never come to Vegas."

"Fine. I wish I had never gone to that Forensic conference. I wish I had never met you. Any more insults?"

Grissom was silent. He poured himself another glass of wine.

"You work for over twenty years and one day you wake up and wonder why you did it. Why you let your job consume your entire life?"

"Grissom, you have more than Lurie will ever have."

"He risked his job to have the person he loved. I didn't. I don't have you." The words hung in the air. Sara tried to recall how many glasses of wine Grissom had consumed. She could not believe what he had just said.

"I'm still here."

"Yes. That's the irony of it all. You remain no matter how shitty I treat you. Don't you think I see the hurt in your eyes each time I turn you away? The hurt goes both ways, Sara. I can't stand the person I've become."

The honesty was brutal. He looked away and stared into the fire.

"You don't have to turn me away."

Grissom's voice took on the sadness that she had heard with Lurie.

"Ah, but there's the rub. I can't have you and stay at the lab. There are rules against supervisor/employee relationships. I can't ask you to leave because I can't bare the thought of you leaving. So, Sara here we are in one sick scenario. I've tried to come up with a way out of it but there is none. I will continue to stay and you will continue to be hurt. It won't end." He had gotten up through the speech and was now pacing the floor.

Sara set her glass down and stood beside him. "I think you need to know that I had another reason for coming here. I'm going to submit my resignation and I need you to sign it."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine:**

Grissom was taken back. "The hell I will."

"You don't have a choice. If you refuse, I will just take it to Ecklie and you know he will sign it and then do cartwheels down the hallway."

Grissom had become livid. "No one asked you to be the martyr. I'll change my leave of absence to early retirement."

"Like hell you will! I will not be the one who brings down the lab. I won't have that on my conscience, Gilbert Grissom. You got that!"

They both stood there fuming at one another.

"And another thing, if I'm leaving I want to know that it was for something." She grabbed him and kissed him. She expected him to push her away but instead he took her into his embrace and returned the kiss. It was everything Sara had imagined. The back of her knees felt weak but she held on to him. Her tongue met his in an explosion of sensations. Her lips slowly left his. She longed to be near him. She stayed in his embrace and whispered softly. "See, the world did not come to an end Grissom just because we kissed."

"Mine did," said Grissom and with that he stormed out of the cabin. Grissom sat down in the chair and tried to catch his breath. The feelings were too intense. He never imagined it would feel so right in her arms. It was all he could do to break free from her. _The hell with the job, I would give anything to be with you. I would give it all up just to have you…_

Sara stood there breathless. She wanted him back. She wanted to kiss him again but he had retreated. _He can't run out here in the middle of nowhere!_

Sara walked out onto the front porch and saw him sitting in one of the rocking chairs. She came over and stood directly in front of him.

"Your world did not come to an end just because I kissed you."

"You mean just because we kissed each other."

"I'm glad you're getting with the program. I don't intend to beat around the bush here Grissom. I expect to have more than a kiss. I expect to have one memorable weekend if I am going to go back and leave my job. I expect…"

She didn't finish the statement. Grissom had pulled her into his lap and held her. He kissed her lips and then began to slowly kiss her neck. His beard tickled on her skin and she relished in the feel of his skin against her. She grabbed his mouth and kissed him long and hard. She could feel he was in as much agony as she was.

He lifted her up and carried inside the cabin. She was surprised when he passed up the bedroom for the rug beside the fireplace. She continued to kiss him leaving trails of kisses down his neck. He grabbed a pillow from the couch and placed it under her head.

Every fiber in Sara's being was screaming. She had never felt this way before. It was everything she had ever dreamed of. Grissom looked into her eyes as his hands explored her body. He kissed her gently and lowered his mouth to hers. They clumsily fumbled through their clothing until it was a pile on the floor. He took in her slender body and marveled at its beauty. It was during the first thrust that he saw the tears slowly trickling down her cheeks. Grissom kissed them one by one. His lovemaking was gentle and slow. She whispered his name over and over and it drove him over the edge. He wanted it to be special for Sara. He wanted…Sara.

They made love through out the night. Grissom grabbed the blanket from the couch and threw over them as the air became chilly. He watched as she slept in his arms. Some time during the night, he woke to find her looking into the fire.

"Sara…"

"I chose to come to Vegas because I fell in love with you when we first met. I chose to stay because someday I had hoped that you would let me in. I don't regret any of it."

She turned to look at his face and she smiled when she saw only tenderness in his eyes. She had feared she would see regret but there was none.

Note: Don't forget to give reviews. P.S. The story is definitely not over. I am still proofreading the other chapters (about 22)


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten:**

Morning came and Grissom was the first to wake. The fire had all but gone out and Sara had curled herself up next to him. He stared down at her sleeping body and smiled. It had not been a dream. He didn't have a clue what they were going to do but he had no intentions of letting her go. He couldn't let her go after this. He spent the next hour quietly putting wood on the fire. Once the fire began to blaze again, he returned and gathered Sara in his arms. He took in the scent of her hair and his senses reeled. He had always loved the scent of her hair. He kissed her gently on the cheek and she smiled.

"Good morning"

"I didn't mean to wake you."

"Actually, I woke up while you were fixing the fire. I tried to play possum in hopes that you would lay back down."

She rolled over and kissed him. It was nice waking up next to him. She could tell he was deep in thought. "Any regrets?"

"I think I am the one who should be asking you that. Sara…"

"I have none, except for perhaps sleeping on this floor."

Grissom kissed her lightly on the cheek and got up. "How about a nice warm bath this morning followed by pancakes?"

Sara smiled. She could get used to this. She wanted to get used to this. She needed this.

He watched the emotions play across her face and he smiled. _She has no idea how much I want her… how much I need her._

Grissom headed for the kitchen. Sara slowly made her way up. She stretched and the blanket fell to the floor. Grissom turned to see her naked form standing in front of the fire.

"If you continue to tease me, we won't be having breakfast any time soon." Sara blushed and headed to the bathroom. She closed the door and leaned against it. For a moment she thought she needed to pinch herself but the coolness of the tile reminded her she was fully awake. It had not been a dream.

She leaned back into the tub and relaxed. Her muscles were sore. She chuckled. _I don't mind the soreness. It was worth it. _

She then realized what they had done. _Shit! _She hadn't come intending to seduce him. She hadn't been prepared for this. She calculated in her head and groaned. _Shit! _She wondered if she should tell him that in her haste to seduce him she hadn't bothered to mention the lack of birth control. She felt like a juvenile. Why hadn't she stayed on the pill? She knew the answer to that. She wasn't a nice person when it came to the pill. It screwed with her hormones and well Sara had enough raging hormones to consider trying the pill again. She was one of the rare one percent that had adverse reactions when it came to the tiny little pill.

She decided she wouldn't worry. The odds were slim she would be pregnant. She decided however that they would not be able to…_Shit!_

There was a tap at the door and he gently opened it. He stood there watching her. She glanced up at him and decided she had better make an exit before it led to… _Shit!_

The pancakes smelled wonderful. Grissom was a very good cook. They chatted about the weather, perhaps another walk that morning. Neither wanted to bring up the fact that they were still stranded and the boy was scheduled to arrive tomorrow with the groceries.

Sara's time was running out. She was scheduled to be back at work on Tuesday. She would have to leave on Monday. They only had two more nights. _How am I supposed to be near him… want him…without...shit_


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**:

They finished the dishes together. Grissom took his turn at the bathroom while Sara paced the floor. It was so ironic that she had taken up pacing now. She didn't hear Grissom cross the floor and embrace her. She loved the scent of him. It drove her wild.

She wanted to give herself to him but her reality meter was sounding.

She slowly pulled away but smiled. Grissom, on the other hand, had other things in mind. He pulled her back into his embrace and began to kiss her urgently. She breathlessly pulled away again. His demeanor immediately changed.

"Out with it Sara."

"I don't know what you mean"

"We may be new at this but I've known you for years and I can tell when something is bothering you."

She turned and looked away. She hated being on the spot. She had no idea how she was going to admit her stupidity to him. Grissom's shoulders slumped. _She's having doubts already._

"I would rather you tell me now if you think this is a mistake than for us to go any further."

She whirled around immediately and saw the doubt displayed on his face. She quickly kissed him and held him tight.

"I'm sorry Grissom. I didn't mean for you to think that."

"But you have regrets"

"Only that I didn't prepare for this to happen. I didn't think you would ever… I wasn't… prepared." Sara had begun to stammer. She felt like she was confessing to a crime.

"Sara, I don't understand."

She was frustrated with the whole situation. She had made a mess of things and it was better like he said to tell him now than go any further.

"No birth control." There it was out. She waited for it to sink in. Grissom's face had no expression. She had wished he had some expression so she would know how to react to his reaction. There was none. The silence was broken by the pesty woodpecker intent on drilling a hole into the cabin wall.

"Are you worried that you may get pregnant?"

"I'm worried that I won't be able to keep my hands off you for the next two days."

Her answer made him smile. He continued to hold her. She was relieved that he was not upset. He was relieved that she still wanted him. He began to chuckle.

"Grissom. This is not funny."

"Brass would think it was."

"We are stranded here. No way to get to civilization yet so we can't do… you know… and I have to leave on Monday."

Grissom's heart lurched. He didn't know how long Sara had taken off.

"Monday?"

"I have to be at work on Tuesday." Sara's heart lurched. It would be painful to leave him.

"Well I can't do anything about Monday but I can solve the issue of the birth control."

Grissom left the room and returned with a box of condoms.

Sara's mouth fell open. She wasn't sure if she should be happy or… jealous.

"Not mine. It seems Brass stocked the cabin with the bare essentials including these."

They decided to skip the walk and remain indoors. There was still a slight chill in the air despite the sun shining through the clouds. Sara had opted for the bed this time. Grissom obliged. He had never felt so comfortable with someone before. He marveled at her intricate body how it seemed to fit so perfectly to his. He loved everything about her except that she was leaving.

Sara stared at Grissom. His mood had become quiet. She traced his beard with her fingertips and he reached out kissing them one by one.

"I still need for you to sign my resignation."

"I'm not going to do it."

"Griss..."

"Don't ask me to do it. I won't. I don't want you to leave."

The silence hung between them. "I can go to a swing shift."

"And not work with you anymore? I don't want that. I don't want you to have to leave the team."

"I can request Catherine as a supervisor and see if they will let me remain on the shift"

"I've been down that road. They don't want two supervisors on the same shift despite the fact that we could use another."

"I could still make the request and perhaps they will change their minds. It would be a start."

"What if they decide to move you to another shift?"

"Then I would go. I wouldn't mind it as long as we could be together."

"I could resign."

"Are you nuts?" glared Sara, "over my dead body."

Grissom kissed her on the cheek and smiled. "If we keep this pace up, it may be over my dead body."

Sara smiled. She wasn't used to these intimate talks particularly from Grissom.

"Grissom, I am going to make the request. It's that or I resign. And no I will not accept you giving up the lab. It would only come between us. I don't want that. Please don't do that." She was pleading with him and he could not say no. He would give her anything if she just asked.

The time passed by quickly although it was used wisely. They tried to cram as much in it as they could. They each assured one another that their relationship would continue once they returned to Vegas however, Vegas was much different than Nowhere. Sara stared at the sign and smiled. She was glad that she had come. She decided that Jim did not need an ass kicking after all but perhaps a dinner and a smack on the lips.

Grissom put her bag in the car. They had laughed when they walked down to the lake and her keys were lying on the bank. She could have left a long time ago. They were both glad that they didn't bother to look for them. Grissom held her in his arms and kissed her. He told her he would miss her. She told him she would want him. It made them both smile. He promised he would return in a couple of weeks and he would call her once he got back. She told him she would keep the bed warm. He made her promise. He reluctantly let her go and watched as she drove away.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve:**

"Okay. Spill it. You've been back for a day and you haven't said a word through dinner."

Sara smiled at Brass. She liked it when he was frustrated. She continued to nibble on the salad.

"He's coming back."

"Of course, he's coming back. You wouldn't have come back if he wasn't. Don't think I haven't noticed those smile of yours. Something happened. Something juicy so spill it."

"I am not the type to…"

The waiter came and replenished the drinks. Brass rolled his eyes. Sara smiled.

"You were about to say…"

"I have to be getting back. We're kind of short handed and I'm waiting on my approval from Ecklie."

"Approval for what?"

"I requested another supervisor, Catherine."

"You what?... oh I get it. The conflict would no longer exist. Good. Now, tell me what's got smiles all over your face?"

Sara continued to smile. She got up from the table, leaned down and kissed him squarely on the lips. "Be happy that it turned out the way it did. I intended to come back and give you an ass kicking."

Jim chuckled as he watched Sara walk away. He would have to wait until Grissom returned to find out the rest of the story. He continued to chuckle.

Grissom tried her number several times but there was no answer. He flipped the phone back into his pocket and opened up his office. He groaned as he stared at the mountain of paperwork. Catherine came and patted him on the back.

"Welcome back. I thought I would leave you a little paperwork to do." She smiled as he grimaced.

"Hey, I need to talk with you about something. You may not like this but Sara has requested me for a supervisor and well I told Ecklie that I didn't mind. I don't mind, do I?" Grissom knew that Catherine was asking his permission and he was thankful for her long standing friendship.

"No, I don't mind. The evaluations are too much for one person. I have been telling them they needed to promote you to supervisor. We could share in the paperwork!"

He handed her a stack and she smiled backing away.

"Let's just see what happens. I think you should talk with Sara to let her know that it's alright with you. She went out to dinner with Brass and should be back soon."

Grissom watched as Catherine left the room. He pulled out his phone and called Brass.

"Jim, it's me."

"Hey, are you going to be as tight lipped as Sara or do I get any details." Grissom smiled.

"I was wondering where she was. I have been trying to call her."

"She's headed back to the lab. Sorry but I turned off her phone so we wouldn't be disturbed. You might want to tell her when you see her."

During the night, Ecklie made his way to Grissom's office.

"Well, It's good to have you back. I take it Catherine has made you aware of Sidle's request."

"Yes, she has."

"I have already been doing the paperwork to get rid of her."

Note: Please don't forget to give reviews. Thanks so much!


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen:**

"I don't understand."

"Sidle. There is enough in her report that we can begin the process to get rid of her."

Grissom glared at Ecklie. "If she goes, I go." He knew that Grissom was not joking. He quickly got up and walked to the door.

"Fine. I think you're making a mistake. This is our opportunity to get rid of that loose cannon. I don't know why you want to protect her. I'll send up the paperwork and we'll see if they decide to honor her request or give her walking papers."

Ecklie was gone as quickly as he came. Grissom fumed. He had no idea that Ecklie hated Sara so much. By making the request, Sara had all but waved a flag in front of his face and he was charging like a bull.

Grissom looked at his watch. The shift would be ending soon. He pulled out the key Sara had given him before she left and he smiled. He would wait at her apartment. He got back to work but his mind was not on the paperwork. _Sara._

Sara stretched as she picked up her kit. The shift was now going into over time. Nick had come to assist but it was going slow. There was a trail of blood leading away from the body. Sara continued to snap pictures as evidence while Nick collected the samples. Sara noticed something odd about the tracks leading away from the crime scene. Nick looked at her. He had seen that look before.

"What's up?"

"There are two sets of tire prints here. We initially thought that the first set belonged to the officer on site but I think if we follow these tracks, we will find another set underneath."

They began walking and Nick smiled when he saw the other set of tire tracks leading in the other direction. "Good catch there, Sar!"

They began to follow the tracks. Sara glanced at her watch.

"Got something planned this morning?"

"Well, it wasn't hiking in the desert."

"Don't you like my company anymore Sar?"

"Always Nicky… but I had other plans. I guess I will just have to change them."

"You and Mandy have been buddies lately. I saw you two the other day before work at the diner."

"Yeah, it's kind of nice to have a female friend besides you guys." She bumped him on the shoulder and he leaned in for a hug. Sara loved her time with the guys. They treated her as an equal but more importantly they treated her like family.

Sara's thoughts turned to Mandy. She had been able to avoid thinking about her all shift. Mostly because Grissom would be coming back tonight and she looked forward to seeing him. She and Mandy had been together a lot. They often spoke to one another in the lab but never took the friendship outside of work until recently. Sara had found Mandy in the parking lot early one morning. She had been crying. Sara recalled the many times she had done the same. She offered Mandy a sympathetic ear and Mandy took it. Sara on the other hand, got more than she bargained for.

"I've made a mess of my life, Sara."

"I thought of that a few times myself but things always seemed to work out for the best. Are you sure your judgment's not clouded right now?"

"I'm pregnant." Sara was quiet. She had panicked herself when she thought she may have gotten pregnant while she was with Grissom. To her relief, she had avoided the catastrophe.

"What can I do?"

"It was a one night stand, Sara. I am not even sure I could locate the guy. I don't want to bring a child up in that kind of circumstance. I couldn't afford a child on my own. I'm not ready to be a parent."

"You could give it up for adoption."

"I'm not ready to be pregnant. I can't jeopardize my career right now to have a child"

Sara knew that she was looking for validation to get an abortion but that was not something that Sara could do. As a friend she would not judge but she would not condone her friend's decision.

"What can I do to help?"

"I've been trying to get around to going to the clinic to pick up information about their hours and… you know but with work and getting over to help my parents, I can't get over there in time with my crazy work schedule."

"I could get the information for you. I'll drop in, pick up some pamphlets…"

"Would you schedule me an appointment?" Sara did not reply. She knew that by doing so she was ending a life and she didn't feel good about it but when Mandy begged she agreed.

She had picked up all of the information a long with the appointment card and gave it to Mandy. Mandy asked Sara if she would drive her to the clinic and then pick her up. Sara agreed when she saw the desperation in Mandy's eyes. She had even gone so far as to have Mandy stay with her to make sure there were no complications. She took off the next shift to hang around. She didn't think Mandy needed to be alone. Sara knew what it was like to be alone. In the end, it had been a painful experience for both of them.

It still bothered Sara. She had often thought about what she would have done if the circumstances were her own. She smiled. She knew that she would have the baby. It was a surprise to her that the decision came so freely. Given her family home life, she had never thought about having a family of her own until she had met Grissom. As the years went by, she gave up the hope of starting a family much less having a husband. Sara smirked at the idea of being married to Grissom.

"A penny for your thoughts?" asked Nick

"Have you ever thought about settling down and starting a family?"

"Yep and nope."

"What kind of answer is that?"

"Yep I would like to settle down but nope I wouldn't want to start a family just yet."

Nick looked at Sara and stopped walking.

"Is there something you want to tell me?"

"Of course not. I was just wondering. I never gave it much thought is all and now I'm not sure."

The tracks led to an abandoned vehicle that reeked of rotting decomposing flesh. Sara looked at Nick.

"Sometimes, I wish I didn't notice things. I guess we will be pulling a double."

Sara reached for her phone and realized it had been turned off. _Brass_ She then noticed Grissom had tried to reach her as well as Ecklie. Sara called it in and waited for the back up. She started to call Grissom but then thought it would be best to wait until later when she was able to speak more freely. She returned Ecklie's call.

"Hi, uh Conrad Ecklie. I'm sorry I missed your call. My phone was turned off…. Yes I know I shouldn't have it turned off while on duty. I wasn't aware that it had been turned off. _I'm going to kill Jim_ I would be happy to stop by your office. I'm working on a case right now but as soon as it's over, I'll find you." Sara hung up the phone and she cursed under her breath.

"Something wrong?"

"Ecklie wants to see me. He's not happy that I made a request to have Catherine as a supervisor instead of Grissom."

"Ouch! Why would you want to do that? Catherine is great but what's wrong with Grissom?"

"I just thought that if Grissom needed a break from his job, perhaps he was working too hard and that if we had two supervisors, he would have less paperwork. It was just a way to help Grissom without helping. You know what I mean?" _Quick thinking Sara. Now if he will buy that pile of manure…_

"Got you there. Grissom doesn't like to admit the job gets to him. Like the Lurie case, we all knew he took that one hard. I think that's why he took a month off. As long as you're staying on the same shift, then I say go for it."

"You would miss me then?"

"Sure. I would miss you buying me breakfast. Like this morning if we ever get done."

Sara made a face and continued processing the evidence. Several hours later, she was relieved to make it back to the lab.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen:**

Grissom opened the door of the apartment and walked in. He surveyed the rooms and smiled. The apartment was much like Sara. It was bright and warm. He walked around the apartment taking in the detail and then noticed some papers lying on the table. His blood boiled. He picked up the pamphlets along with the appointment card. He then noticed the set of after care instructions and he continued to fume.

His heart turned to ice. _How could she do this without talking with me first?_

He threw the papers down and walked out of the apartment. _How could I have been so wrong?_

Sara sat in Ecklie's office waiting for him to return. She was dirty and grimy but she didn't care, she had just finished pulling a double. He walked into his office and sat down.

"I sent your request up and it seems they were a bit concerned as I have been about your conduct."

"I know I have had some issues but my performance…"

"We are not so concerned about your performance as we are about your conduct on and off the job. You seem to have an attitude problem Sidle."

Sara was getting upset but she tried to control her temper. "I wasn't aware I would be placed under a microscope just for making a simple request."

"Do you have a problem with Grissom?"

"No. I just thought that we needed another supervisor and well it would be nice to have a female supervisor…"

"I think we are capable of determining whether we need another supervisor. Do you have a problem with male authority?"

'No, but…look this is not sounding…"

"No it's not. I'll let you know their decision." Ecklie turned away and began processing some paperwork. Sara made a hasty retreat. _Shit! _

She had no idea Ecklie hated her this much. She made a bee line for Grissom's office. She slowed when she saw Sophia sitting on his desk and they were chatting. She had despised Sophia from a distance. The woman often threw herself on the opposite sex and Sara had seen more than a glance or two come from Grissom. _This is silly. Grissom loves me… no wait, he never said that but he cares for me. He wants me… what the hell is she doing sitting like that on his desk. Why is he smiling at her?_

Sara decided she would wait until Sophia left. She walked into the break room and poured a cup of coffee. She was tired. She wanted to go home. She watched as Sophia walked by with Grissom in tow. She sat the coffee cup down and headed after them.

"Grissom"

Grissom turned in Sara's direction. The coldness in his eyes made her take a step back.

"Is there something you want Sidle?"

"I uh just finished a double and was wondering… nothing. I just wanted to let you know I was working over time." Sara did not wait for a reply but headed to the locker room.

She looked around to see if anyone was around and then she felt the tears coming.

She felt like a fool. She thought she had meant something to him and he was the same old Grissom only this time he seemed more cruel. She grabbed a changeof clothing and headed to the showers.

Her mind was in overdrive. She did not know what to think about his behavior. Perhaps, he was mad at her for going through with making the request to change supervisors. _How could I have been so wrong? _She finished her shower and headed to the conference room. The others were already present. Sara quickly sat down. Grissom looked over his glasses in her direction.

"I'm glad you decided to join us."

Nick and Warrick glanced at one another. They decided to avoid Grissom for the night. They had hoped he would return in better spirits. On the contrary, he had returned in a foul mood.

Grissom handed out the assignments and they dispersed. Sara made an exit for her desk but he called her to his office. She refused to look in his direction as they walked. Once inside, he shut the door and sat down at his desk.

"Do you have anything you need to tell me?" he asked.

"Grissom, I told you I was going to make the request. I don't understand why you are so angry with me?"

"Perhaps I have seen a different side of you. Look, I'll make this brief. It was a mistake. I never should have crossed the line. I won't make that mistake again. I want to give you fair warning that Ecklie is out to get you."

Sara stood motionless. Her heart was breaking and she could not bring herself to move much less say anything. He looked at her and saw the pain in her eyes. The looks used to melt his heart but at this moment he didn't want to be around her.

He picked up some things off his desk and strode out of the office leaving her standing there. Sara was crushed. This time he had crossed the line. This time she could not forgive him. She squared her shoulders and headed back to work.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen:**

What was supposed to be the most anticipated week of Sara's life turned out to be one of the worse. The days had all begun to blur together as the door to the lab seemed to be a revolving door. After pulling the double, Sara had spent the next day in a fetal position on the bathroom floor. She could not control the tears that flowed. She just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep but his words echoed in her brain. There came a knock at her door and for a moment her heart lurched. _It's Grissom. _

Sara slowly got up and looked at herself in the mirror. _I look like shit. _

She flung the door open and wanted to crawl away when she saw Catherine standing there.

"Did I come at a bad time?" Sara didn't know what to say. She looked at Catherine and crumbled to the floor. Catherine helped her up and shut the door.

"Sara, I came over to talk with you about your request. I'm sorry I caught you at a bad time. Honey, is there anything I can do for you?"

Sara whispered no and continued to sob quietly. Catherine got up and fixed some coffee. She handed Sara a cup and waited for to compose herself.

"Believe it or not I am a good listener. If you need anything, I'm here. Not just as your boss but your friend." Sara looked up at Catherine.

"It's official. I'm now your boss. It seems because of your request, I have been promoted. I came to thank you but…honey what is wrong?"

"I'll be fine Catherine. I'm glad you came. It's really good news. I need a change right now… a good change. I didn't think Ecklie was going to allow my request."

"Well he wasn't. Even he has a boss and it seems that Grissom backed your decision so they weren't about to make him unhappy what with the recent sabbatical from him. I think they are afraid he might leave." Catherine thought the news would cheer her up but instead it made Sara angry.

"I didn't ask him to do that. I didn't care if they approved the request or not. I could have just left. I could have…" Sara stopped.

"Hey, how about you get a shower and we girls go out for dinner just the two of us?"

Sara knew that Catherine was trying to get her to confide in her but she couldn't. Catherine had been a friend to Grissom for years. She did however like her company. Event though they were different, Sara admired Catherine.

"Dinner sounds nice. Give me a couple of minutes."

She finished her coffee and headed back to the kitchen. She glanced down at the table and saw the pamphlets. Catherine glanced back in the other room. She remembered Sara asking for the night off and now she knew why.

She felt an overwhelming urge to hug Sara. She knew that it must have been hard for her to make such a decision. She wondered if this was the reason for the change in mood recently. If Sara wasn't withdrawn, she was in work mode. Her smile had all but disappeared. She decided she would give Sara the space she needed. She would keep her secret but would warn the guys to be supportive. She wondered if she should mention something to Grissom.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen:**

Catherine sat down in Grissom's office and waited for him to look up.

"Catherine, is there something you need?"

"Yes as a matter of fact, I need your undivided attention."

"Okay, you have it."

"It's Sara." _Already she has complaints. What has she done now besides torn my heart to shreds._

"What has she done?"

"Nothing. She has been working harder than anyone else. She's the best I could ask for."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I think she needs counseling and I am not sure how to go about getting her to do it."

Grissom fidgeted. "What makes you think she needs counseling?"

"I know that she went through something very traumatic and she hasn't been taking it very well. I found her the other day literally on the floor in tears. It appeared she had been crying for hours. I later found something in her apartment and well uh let's just say that I'm not sure I would be able to go through that without having some severe scars."

Grissom knew what Catherine was eluding to but he didn't let on. "What makes you think I could get her to agree to counseling?"

"Because I thought she had made the request to change supervisors because…" Catherine's eyes lit up. She jumped to her feet and began to leave "Never mind. I'll figure this out on my own."

Grissom wasn't sure if Catherine had discovered their secret or not. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. He didn't want to love her anymore. He tried to avoid her but the same sensations returned. When he realized what she had done, he actually felt betrayed. How could she go through such a thing? Perhaps there had been complications. Perhaps there were health issues. He knew he was grasping at straws but he needed to cling to something for the moment.

He knew Sara was hurting. She could hide it from the others but he knew. He had become a master at reading her expressions. He had intended to hurt her that day in his office and he had succeeded. He wanted her to feel the same pain he felt when he found the pamphlet but yet he still loved her. He still needed her and yes he would pursue her again. He threw the papers off his desk. The sick scenario would begin again.

Catherine headed out of Grissom's office. She had made a mistake. Grissom would never date someone who had gotten an abortion and she almost told him. Sara deserved to be happy. She had reasons for the decision she made. Catherine would just have to try another approach. Perhaps the guys could help.

Sara and Greg returned from the field. Greg had tried without success to lift Sara's spirits. He didn't like to see her without her smile. He offered to take her to dinner but she declined. Nick came over and hugged Sara. "I have a great idea. I want you to go out with me and the guys tonight. There is someone I want you to meet, his name is Hank."

Sara stopped and looked down the hallway, Grissom was approaching. "Tell Hank, I would love to meet him." Grissom pretended not to hear the conversation but he scowled as he passed them. Nick smiled. Now it was Catherine's turn.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen:**

Grissom paced back and forth in the townhouse. He fumed over the thought of Sara with someone else. His phone took him by surprise when it began to ring.

"Grissom"

"Griss, the guys are taking Sara out this evening after shift and I need a favor. Nick is bringing along a guy he met named Hank and while I know the guys will have Sara's best interest at heart, she may need someone along who can get her out of a jam if she needs it. I can't make it. Are you game?"

Grissom smiled. "I'll be there."

Sara was a bit nervous. She had changed into a nice cotton dress and was relieved when Nick picked her up alone. Now that she had time to think about it, meeting a man was not on her priority list. In fact, she had sworn off men. Nick could tell she was a bit nervous when they entered the bar.

He took her by the arm and softly whispered she would be alright. She smiled as she was led to a table in the back of the room. Her heart began to pound quickly when she saw Grissom sitting with Warrick.

"Hey Sara! You look nice this evening," said Warrick as he handed her a beer. She sat down opposite them and had no choice but to sit directly across from Grissom. She met his gaze. There was no expression. She was a bit relieved. At least he did not return the icy stare that he had given her before.

"I must say Sara you look beautiful this evening," smiled Grissom. Sara looked away. She handed the beer back to Warrick and flagged a waiter. "Could I have a scotch on the rocks?"

"Whoa! Bad day huh?" asked Warrick

"You could say that." Sara took a sip of the drink and was thankful for the alcohol. Nick grinned as he saw Hank walk in.

"Sara, your date is here."

Grissom and Sara exchanged glances. She took another drink. _He's waiting for me to fall flat on my face. He's only here to…What the hell is he doing here?_

Introductions were made and Hank slid in next to Sara. They continued with office talk and Sara joined in the small chit chat while Grissom stared at her. She was becoming a bit nervous as he watched her every movement. She felt her arm being tugged as Hank pulled her up onto the dance floor and she was startled when he took her into his arms to dance.

She had not danced in years but it felt good. He leaned in close to her and whispered that he promised not to step on her toes if she promised to smile. He seemed very nice and Sara did just as he requested. She smiled while he glided her across the dance floor. They continued to dance through the next song and Nick tapped his beer bottle against Warrick's.

"Mission accomplished. I think we have a match."

Grissom on the other hand was seething. He didn't like Sara in the arms with another man. He drank his beer and asked for another one. They returned to the table and Grissom couldn't help but smile when Hank received a phone call and had to leave the table.

Sara finished her drink and Grissom quickly flagged the waiter for a refill on her glass.

She took a drink and her eyes glanced at Grissom when she felt his hand caress her thigh.

Sara tried to move his hand away but he caught hers and held it. His thumb caressed the inside of her palm. His touch was driving her insane. She licked her lips and tried not to look at him. She downed the glass with a gulp and proceeded to get up.

Grissom motioned for Warrick to let him up and he took Sara by the hand. She started to protest but then did not want to make a scene in front of the guys. All heads turned as Grissom led her to the dance floor. He took her into his arms and they began to dance. He pulled her in close so that he could whisper softly in her ear.

"I want you."

"I don't want you."

"Did you even miss me? _Like a moth to a flame. _

"Grissom, don't. I'm not playing this game anymore."

"We need to talk. Let me take you home."

_Yes. Take me home and make love to me. I need to feel you… _"It's over. I want to leave."

Sara walked over and sat back down at the table. The waiter had refilled her glass and she was glad. She took another drink as the guys looked at her.

"Sara, Hank got called away. I think you better go easy on those drinks." Sara finished the drink and ordered another one. Warrick pulled Nick over to the side.

"I think our plan is backfiring. Hank was supposed to make Grissom jealous so he would make a move on Sara but Sara is intent on getting smashed," whispered Nick.

"Maybe we should take her home," offered Warrick. Grissom came up behind them and patted Warrick on the back.

"Don't worry. I'll see to it that Sara gets home safe. I think we need to talk in private."

Nick and Warrick made their exit. Sara turned around to find she was now alone with Grissom. _Shit_


	18. Chapter 18

Note: Thanks for reviewing this story. I have received several emails from folks asking me if Sara got an abortion and the answer is an emphatic NO. I am on drugs right now because I am sick but I have gone back and read the story and I think I am clear. This is a classic story of how one person's assumptions almost cost them everything.

**Chapter Eighteen:**

"What did you say to cause them to leave?"

"I told them we needed to talk and I would make sure you got home safe."

"I'm leaving." Sara started to get up and Grissom grabbed her by the wrist.

"Sara. Please."

Sara wasn't sure if it was the alcohol but she wanted to stay. She needed to hear why he had treated her so cruel.

"I'm listening."

Grissom looked around. He didn't want to hash this out in public much less a bar. He pulled her up and led her out to his vehicle. She reluctantly got in and he drove to his townhouse in silence.

"If you would please drop me off at my apartment…."

"We need to talk. I'll drive you home as soon as we're done." He grabbed her by the arm and led her into the house.

Grissom walked into the kitchen and made some coffee. Sara sat down on the couch. Her head was a little buzzed from the alcohol. She walked out onto the deck and felt the cool breeze against her face. He handed her a cup of coffee and they stood there drinking in silence. Once she had finished the coffee, he led her back into the living room.

"Am I talking with someone under the influence of alcohol or…"

"I'm not drunk, Grissom. I was headed there. I wanted to get plastered, but no I'm not drunk. Thanks for the coffee. Now, will you drive me home or better yet, let me just get a cab." She started for the door but he stopped her.

He grabbed her into his arms and he kissed her urgently. She initially tried to pull away but then felt the same needs building up inside her and she clung to him. His lips traveled down her neck and his hands sought her breasts. She knew that she could not stop him nor did she want to. She groaned as his hands caressed her body.

"Gil…"

He picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. He slowly pulled the cotton dress off and stripped her of her undergarments in record time. He was like an addict in need of a fix and he found himself calling her name over and over as he plunged deeper and deeper into the abyss.

He felt her tears on his skin at the last release. He kissed her tenderly on the lips but she continued to cry. Her crying turned into sobs and he tried to comfort her by holding her tightly but she would not stop. He rocked her gently back and forth and whispered softly in her ear. "Please Sara, don't cry. I can't bear to hear you cry."

He continued to hold her as she fell asleep. He cursed at himself for hurting her. God, he didn't know what to do. He wanted to punish her for what she had done not like this. Her body racked with sobs until he thought that something inside had broken. He felt her stir and he lovingly kissed her and whispered softly in her ear. "I'm sorry Sara. I won't hurt you anymore. I'm sorry."

When Grissom awoke the next morning, Sara was gone. He showered and tried to reach her by phone but she did not pick up. He wondered how she had gotten home. _Brass_

"Jim, I'm looking for Sara."

"How long have we've known each other?"

"Jim…years."

"I never would have sent Sara after you if I knew you were going to treat her like shit. What the hell has gotten into you?"

"It's private. It's between Sara and me. I need to talk with her."

"She all but begged me to put a restraining order against you. I'm inclined to do so."

"We can't work this out if I can't talk with her."

"She picked up some things from her apartment and she's staying with me for a couple of days until her head clears. She's talking about leaving Vegas. If I were you I would hang low or you're going to chase her out of the state."

"I can't let her go. Not now, we need to talk. I need…"

"You need counseling. She gets her ass chewed by Ecklie because she asks to be switched to another supervisor so you two can be together and then you treat her like shit. It doesn't make sense."

Grissom was desperate. He was through with half truths and accusations. "Sara got an abortion."

The phone was silent. "I don't follow."

"When I got back, I let myself into her apartment with the key she gave me…"

"Explains why she didn't want to go home… go on"

"I found the pamphlets along with the appointment card and Catherine confirmed Sara had taken off the day after the appointment. Jim, she had an abortion. How would you feel if the woman you loved didn't want your child?"

Brass was silent. "I think you're full of shit. I don't believe Sara would do such a thing unless there was something really wrong. Did you ask her?"

"I couldn't. I was too angry."

"So you treat her like shit. You tell her it was all a mistake and then when you think she might enjoy someone else's company you drag her back to your bed. You're sick Gil. This job has gotten to you."

He was right. He was sick. The line was silent for a long time.

"I don't want to hurt her anymore."

"Then leave her alone and let her think this through. If she wants to leave, let her go."

There was silence again.

"Grissom?"

"Yeah?"

"If you hurt her again, I am going to do more than kick your ass. Don't forget I have a gun."

"I wouldn't expect anything less."


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen:**

Grissom gave Sara the space she needed. She stayed with Brass for a couple of weeks and then upon Jim's encouragement, returned to her apartment. Grissom had given Brass the key as a token of his promise he would not bother her but let her have her space.

She had begun to smile again and it made Grissom feel hopeful. He knew that her smiles were always directed at someone else but just to know that she was happy again eased the guilt. He had managed to avoid going out into the field with her but he knew their luck was running out.

Grissom glanced at the report and sighed. Everyone was out in the field except Sara. He reviewed the details and swore. He wasn't about to take her with him. He grabbed his jacket and headed out the door.

Two hours had passed and Grissom had not even cleared the first room. It was going to be a long night. Brass stood in the doorway of the house and watched as Grissom meticulously catalogued each piece of evidence.

"Going solo tonight?"

Grissom looked up and saw Brass standing there. "It's been busy."

"I just talked with Sara. She's headed over here."

"I didn't ask for any help."

"No. I did. You need it." Brass walked up to Grissom and leaned down so that the other officers could not hear the conversation.

"You look like shit."

"Thanks."

"You okay?"

"I'm fine." Grissom wasn't fine. He hadn't been sleeping. He had taken up residence at the lab these days. The grapevine rumor mill had several theories all of which were far from the truth except that he seldom left unless to change clothes.

Brass turned and saw Sara standing in the doorway. She quietly walked through the living room and came to stand by Grissom.

"What do you need?" _You.._

"I can handle this myself. You can go back to the lab. It's okay."

"I'll process the next room." Grissom immediately got up, his knees popping as he stood. He flinched from the pain but reached for her arm. He stopped short of touching her.

"I don't want you to help in here. Would you process the outside?"

Sara looked at Grissom and then Brass. "Fine." She walked outside.

"Jim, she doesn't need to be here."

"She knows what kind of case this is. She didn't seem to be bothered by the details."

"She never does. It's always the aftermath."

Grissom resumed working. He needed to pick up speed in order to finish up so he could take the next room. He usually did the body first but in this case, he had avoided it. It was unusual for him to do such a thing but the facts of the case had bothered him. He couldn't imagine how it was going to affect Sara.

He continued to flinch from the pain of the knee. Brass took note. He stood and watched as Grissom completed the room and then headed to the next one. Sara returned from outside and joined him.

The small body lay between the bath tub and the toilet. They stood and looked at it for several moments before Sara began snapping pictures and collecting the evidence. Grissom glanced at her but she showed no emotion. He wasn't sure why her lack of emotion bothered him.

"Looks to be about 30 weeks, don't you think?" asked Sara. He watched as she continued to stare at the infant.

"Yes. I would estimate that." Sara brushed past him and left the room. He finished tagging the evidence and stood up. He looked into the mirror and groaned. _I do look like shit._

He moved into the bedroom where the woman laid faced down. Sara returned and went back into the bathroom. Grissom and Brass stood and watched as Sara wrapped the infant in a baby blanket and held it.

Brass and Grissom exchanged looks. Brass came over and stood beside Sara. "I don't think you should have done that."

"We were finished. They were going to come in here and remove the body. A baby deserves to be held not handled." She sniffled as she carried the small bundle past the men and out of the house.

"Go with her," urged Grissom. Brass headed after Sara. Grissom sighed. _She's in hell and I can't even help her._

He then looked at the woman. He had dreaded this part. The woman had tried to self abort the baby after fighting with the husband. Her spouse discovered what she had done and shot her to death.

Sara returned and began assisting Grissom. Together they were able to complete the room in an hour. Brass continued to watch as the two catalogued the evidence.

"Coroner says she would most likely have bled to death since she blotched the abortion. If the husband had waited a little while longer, she would have died anyway," whispered Sara.

Grissom looked up and stared at Sara. "Murder is murder." As soon as the words left his mouth he wished he could take them back.

"I agree. She killed their baby and he killed her. I think that's fair." Sara continued to process the scene as Grissom got up and excused himself.

Brass found him standing outside. He grabbed a bottled water from his car and brought it over to Grissom. "I would offer you something stronger but we're on duty."

Grissom took the water and poured some it over his head. He then consumed the rest.

They finished up and Grissom headed back to the lab. He turned in the evidence and then went in search of Nick.

Grissom pulled Nick into the break room and waited until they were alone.

"I need a favor."

"Sure Grissom. Name it."

"I want you to sleep with Sara."


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty:**

Nick stared at Grissom. Grissom closed his eyes and realized what he had said.

"Sorry Nick but I'm exhausted. We just got through a really hard case tonight. I know that Sara will probably have nightmares. Would you stay with her? She won't ask you but if you could come up with some excuse to stay over there and be with her when she needs someone…"

"You can count on it. Don't worry Grissom. I'll make sure she's okay."

Grissom smiled and started to walk away. "You won't say anything about this to her, right?"

"I understand. You love her very much don't you?"

"Yes, I do." Grissom walked out of the lab and headed for home. He needed a drink tonight.

Sara flicked through the TV stations as Nick munched on the popcorn.

"Thanks for letting me stay over. I know they will have the apartment fumigated by tomorrow. Hey, that's a great show there!"

"Sorry, but I don't watch cop or reality shows. We get enough of that at work."

Nick leaned over and kissed Sara on the forehead. "I'm beat. Aren't you tired? "

"Never can sleep after a bad case. I was glad that you asked to stay over."

"Nightmares?"

"Yep."

"Sara, we all have them. I know I've had my share. How about you lay back and try to sleep while I watch this reality show?"

Sara smiled and moved the popcorn bowl over to Nick's side. She cuddled up next to him and closed her eyes.

"Nick?"

"Yeah"

"You're a good friend."

"Just don't tell anyone I snore."

"Night"

"Night Sara."

Nick waited a while and once he thought she was asleep he quietly picked up his phone and dialed Grissom.

"Griss… yeah, she's fine. She just went to sleep. Don't worry. I'm lying here right beside her. I'll watch over her. Get some rest yourself man. You need it."

Sara pretended not to hear the conversation. She continued to lay there beside Nick.

Her mind was reeling. Her heart was aching. He had been the one to get Nick to stay over. He remembered their talks about the nightmares. _I miss you…_

He counted the weeks as they passed and he wondered if she would ever give him another chance. He certainly didn't deserve it. He would sit and watch her leave each night and he would call out "good night." She made no return gesture and he didn't expect her to. One night he did not see her leave. Grissom went in search of her and found Catherine in the break room.

"How's Sara?"

"I sent her home. She's not been feeling well these days."

Grissom had hoped he would see her before she left but felt concerned when he learned she had been ill. "Do you think you should check on her?"

"Gil, why don't you check on her?"

"I don't think she wants to see me. It's complicated. Would you check on her for me?"

"How come personal relationships are always complicated to you?"

"Because I suck at personal relationships. It's the reason I'm alone."

Grissom had been blunt but truthful. Catherine was sorry for him.

"Don't worry. I'll call her later and let you know." Catherine looked away for a moment and when she looked up, he was gone.

"What the hell was that all about?" Catherine said aloud. She completed the paperwork and picked up the phone.

Grissom sat in his office and stared at the clock on the wall. Catherine came in and sat down.

"Bad news."

"What's wrong?"

"Sara has requested a leave of absence."

"Why?"

"medical reasons"

"Medical?"

"She didn't want to get into it on the phone but she said she needed some time off. Frankly Gil, I'm glad she asked for some time off. She needs it. Her work has been outstanding but I know that she hasn't been herself. I think a counselor could help her work through some of her issues but I'll leave it up to Sara to decide that. I'm going to approve the leave."

"I think you're doing the right thing. Does she plan to leave town for awhile?"

"She didn't say but I told her she should get away for awhile. It might do her some good." Catherine got up and left.

Grissom wasn't so sure. Sara might decide to never come back.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty One:**

"I'm leaving," whispered Sara as she continued to stir the tea. Brass had been watching her, contemplating how to approach the subject.

"When?"

"Tomorrow"

"Where?"

"I was wondering if I could go to the cabin."

"Any time."

"I like Nowhere."

"Me too." Brass shuffled in his seat. "Look, I hate to bring this up but Grissom is a mess."

"I know. There's a favor I need to ask you?"

"Name it"

"I need you to send Grissom to me."

"In a body bag…" Sara smiled. Brass could no sooner harm Grissom than her. He was all gruff but she knew he loved her. He loved them both. He had been in the middle of this from the beginning. She reached over and held his hand. He was always a comfort.

"I need a couple of days to think," whispered Sara. She swiped at her tears. "…then I want you to send him there."

"You know you're going to be in the middle of nowhere with him."

"I know. I need to know what happened to us. I need to know why he changed."

"Could be painful."

"This is hell. I can't see how it could get worse."

"Are you sure?"

"No."

"Don't leave any blood stains in the cabin."

Sara reached over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Brass chuckled. "My money is on you, kid. If I were Grissom, I would be afraid, very afraid."


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty Two:**

Catherine and the guys marched into Grissom's office. They stood there waiting for Grissom to notice their arrival. When he didn't turn, the guys looked at Catherine and shrugged.

"Grissom? Grissom!" Warrick's voice brought Grissom out of his thoughts.

"I'm sorry, did you want something?"

"Man, you don't look good Grissom," observed Warrick.

"I'm sorry I haven't been sleeping much lately."

"You need to go home. Better yet. You need some time off," added Nick.

Grissom had been working non stop for the last couple of weeks. He was exhausted. He had tried to throw himself into his work but the hours were taking its toll on his health.

"You're going to put yourself in an early grave. Go home! Better yet take some time off," ordered Catherine. She stood there with her arms crossed.

Grissom pulled himself up and for once took their advice. He headed home. He sat in his living room drinking some tea when his doorbell rang. It was Brass. He was surprised to see him. They had not spoken much in the last couple of weeks. They had buried the hatchet and Grissom was glad that it was not protruding from his body.

"Hey, Jim. It's been awhile. You want something to drink?"

"This isn't a social call."

Grissom's face went white. "Sara?"

"She's fine. I think. You know she left town a couple of days ago and I haven't heard from her. I'm worried."

"Why? Is she still sick? Where…" Grissom stopped. He wasn't sure he wanted to know where she was since he had been fighting the urge to hire a private investigator to look for her.

"If I told you would you promise me not to screw this up? I think she really needs you right now. I wouldn't send you if I wasn't worried."

"Where is she?"

"Nowhere"

Grissom pulled out the luggage in the closet and Brass stared at him.

"I wasn't going to look for her unless you told me to."

"Good boy."

Grissom had time to think on the drive up. He remembered seeing the lifeless body of Debbie Marlin. It had unnerved him. For a moment he had seen Sara lying there. His thoughts then turned to Lurie. Grissom's own words to Lurie haunted him.

_We wake up one day and realize that for fifty years we haven't really lived at all. But then, all of a sudden ... we get a second chance." _

He wasn't like Lurie. He knew that now. He knew that he would let her go. He loved Sara and didn't want her to feel any more pain. This was his last chance. If he couldn't convince her to return then he would make every effort to support any decision she made even if it meant she would not be coming back.

Grissom rehearsed over and over what he would say to her when he arrived. He forgot everything when he drove up to the cabin and saw her car parked in the driveway. The memories came flooding back and he wondered how the hell they had gotten so side tracked but then he remembered the secret Sara had hidden from him.

He quietly opened the door and found her sleeping on the couch. He walked over and sat down in the chair. It had been a long trip and he was exhausted. He didn't want to wake her but he longed to take her into his arms. He sat there and watched her. He noticed she was much thinner and paler since the last time he had seen her.

Grissom felt remorse and sorrow for the way he had treated her. He gently lifted a blanket and covered Sara. He leaned down and kissed her lightly on the forehead. He then returned to the chair and fell asleep.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty Three:**

Sara felt warm and cozy. She opened her eyes to find Grissom sitting in the chair. She rubbed her eyes and blinked at him. He was asleep. She took the opportunity to really take in his features. At the lab she had avoided looking at him, for fear her resolve would melt and she would resume the same tormented cycle again. He looked tired. She could tell he had not slept in awhile so she remained quiet.

She enjoyed just laying there and watching him sleep. She loved the way his lips hid a certain grin, the one that melted her heart when he chose to give it to her. She had missed him. She had missed loving him. Despite her desire she refused to let her heart take control. She needed to find out why he had changed. She got up from the couch and placed the blanket over him. She then headed to the kitchen to fix dinner.

Grissom began to stir. He had been asleep for a couple of hours and his body ached. The chair was not the best place to sleep. He glanced over at the couch and she was sitting there drinking a cup of tea.

"Brass sent me."

"I know."

Grissom looked confused.

"I asked him to send you." Grissom's hope leaped. He didn't know how to begin.

"Sara.."

"Dinner is just about done. You have time for a shower."

Grissom sat and stared at her. _You sent for me…_

She got up and headed to the kitchen. Grissom looked down at his clothing. He was a mess. He decided a shower was definitely in order. She could hear the water running in the bathroom. Sara stood and leaned against the sink. It took all of her will power to keep from going to him. He looked vulnerable. She knew he was in pain.

She didn't know why he had pushed her away again. She only knew that she was willing to give him another chance before she put the relationship to rest once and for all. She knew that if they failed here this time, she would be broken for life. It was a chance she had to take. It was the last chance she would take. She prayed that she could get through to him.

Grissom let the water pour over his head. He tried not to get his hopes up. He knew that she was willing to give him another chance. Somehow he felt it would be his last. It was all he could do not to take her into his arms. He ached to hold her again. He longed to love her again. He prayed that he could get her to talk with him. He needed to know why she had gone through with the abortion. He needed to know why she had kept it from him. He leaned against the shower. He could feel the migraine and he cursed. _Not now._

Grissom dressed and joined her in the kitchen. They sat and quietly ate, neither wanting to talk but each feeling the need to break the silence.

"Sara…"

"I know you sent Nick to stay with me"

"How?"

"I heard him on the phone with you that night."

"Actually I sent Nick to sleep with you."

"He did."

Grissom looked at her and his heart began to race when he saw that she was smiling.

"Did it help?"

"Yep. He was there when the nightmares came."

"I wanted to be there…"

"I know… I uhm wanted you too."

They both smiled. The pain was reflective in both of their eyes but they were talking and it was a beginning.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty Four:**

They finished dinner and Grissom insisted on cleaning up while she returned to the couch. She didn't have much energy these days. She had lost quite a bit of weight and the lack of sleep had begun to take its toll.

Grissom came and sat down on the other end of the couch. They sat and stared into the fire.

"Catherine tells me you haven't been feeling well."

"Loss of appetite and sleep catches up with a person." She glanced over at him. She could tell his head was hurting.

"Nothing else?"

"exhaustion." She turned her body so that she was facing him

"What about you?"

"Loss of appetite and sleep…exhaustion."

"We have a lot in common," smiled Sara

He returned the smile even though the migraine was getting persistent.

"Did you bring your meds?"

Grisson smiled. He wasn't the only person who had become an expert at reading body language.

"No. I was sort of in a rush to get here."

"Maybe it would be best if you laid down for awhile." She got up and motioned for him to lie on the couch. He reluctantly did so. She grabbed the blanket and placed it over him. He watched her as she slid down onto the floor and leaned up against the couch.

It was nice just being in the same room together. She was so close. All he had to do was reach out and he could touch her hair. He raised his hand but then let if fall to his side. He closed his eyes at the pain in his head. She glanced over and saw him winced.

"There's probably something in the medicine cabinet. Would you like for me to look?"

"It'll pass. I'm sorry Sara. I had hoped that we could talk. There's a lot that we need to talk about."

"Like why you were so shitty to me when you came back?" Sara had wished she hadn't said that. She really wanted him to rest but now she had only agitated him.

"I had a reason."

"I can't imagine what. You knew that I was going to request a change in supervisors."

Again he winced at the pain.

"Look this can wait until you're feeling better."

"I didn't know you would tear my heart out and…" Grissom placed his head in his hands while sitting up.

"Wait. I didn't do anything."

"Sara, we're not going to get anywhere if you won't tell me about the abortion."

Sara was shocked by the statement. There eyes locked on one another.

"You know about the abortion?"

"Yes. How did you think I was going to react when I found out on my own?" Grissom held the side of his head with his hand.

"I didn't think you needed to know. It was none of your business."

Grissom's eyes darkened. He stared at Sara in disbelief. "How you can say something like that. It is my business. How could you do that Sara? How could you let an innocent baby…" Grissom stopped. The conversation was not going the way he had planned. His head was killing him. Her attitude was killing them.

"I made a decision to do it. I wish I hadn't but I can't go back. It's bothered me ever since. I guess it always will. I can't change what I did."

"You could have told me. We could have discussed it. I can't believe you think that I shouldn't have been involved in a decision like that. God Sara, you know how I feel about abortion. It's murder." He gasped after he said it. He looked at her and saw the tears streaming down her face.

"Honey, I'm sorry. This isn't the way I wanted us to discuss this." He reached for her hand and she let him take it. He was grateful.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. Not now." He felt as though his head was going to explode. He closed his eyes and leaned back into the couch.

"Grissom, are you okay?"

"No. I'm not." He let go of her hand as he felt her getting up. She went into the bathroom and returned with a cool wash cloth. She placed it on his forehead as he laid back down. She gently massaged his forehead with her fingertips. She quietly whispered for him to sleep. Their conversation could wait. He just needed to rest. The pressure inside his head seemed to ease. She continued the circular motion until she knew he had drifted asleep. She gently kissed him on the forehead and slumped back onto the floor.

He slept for hours. Sara remained on the floor near him. The fire crackled and the shadow of the flames danced on the walls. _I didn't think he would be this upset just because I helped a friend. He's right. I shouldn't have gotten involved. _

She remembered holding the lifeless body of the aborted infant. The baby's face was added to the collection of faces that haunted her when she tried to sleep. Sara closed her eyes. She could feel her heart in her throat and she needed to get away from him. Her emotions were still raw and she suddenly felt the dinner rising from her stomach. She raced to the bathroom and shut the door behind her. She sat there in the floor with the towel covering her mouth as she tried to hold the sobs in.

Grissom awoke to find the cabin dark. Sara had covered the windows to shut out the light. He had recalled her sitting beside him and whispering softly to him. He was relieved that the migraine was now just a dull headache. He reached down to touch Sara but realized she was gone.

He glanced around the cabin but did not see her. It was her sobs that led him to her.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter Twenty Five:**

He gently knocked on the door but she did not respond. He tried the doorknob and was glad that she had not locked it. He found her crumpled on the floor like a ragdoll.

Grissom scooped her in his arms and gently carried her back to the couch. He rocked her back and forth like he did that night. He kissed her tears away and gently rubbed her back.

"I didn't mean to upset you. I really didn't." She could hear the sadness in his voice.

"It wasn't you. I know what I did. I've lived with it all these weeks. I wished I hadn't gone to the clinic."

"Didn't you…" Grissom got up and stood by the fire. He turned and his tears glistened against the fire light.

"We were happy here once. I thought that we could finally be together. I…" He choked on the last part and stopped. "I love you Sara. I always have and I always will. I guess that's what scared me the most is that I would forgive you no matter what you did. I hurt and I wanted you to feel some of the pain but I had no idea how much you were already grieving." He turned to face her.

"I was angry and hurt when I found out about the abortion. It threw me for a curb. I couldn't understand why you would want to get rid of a part of us so I lashed out at you. I don't know why you did what you did."

Sara's mouth fell open. First she was shocked but then she became angry.

"You moron!"

Her anger made Grissom step back. He had no idea what was going through her head.

"You dumb ass. If Jim doesn't kick you in the ass, I'm going to."

"Sara. I just need to understand…."

"I didn't have an abortion! I've never had an abortion."

"But the pamphlet and the appointment card?"

Sara rolled her eyes and got up. She was pacing back and forth. "That, you moron belonged to someone else. Her name is none of your business. She asked me to get that information for her and so I did. I didn't like it but I supported her. She stayed over at my place and must have left the stuff there. If you had enough balls to ask me you would have found out sooner. Instead, you jumped to the wrong conclusions. Do you have any idea how deeply you hurt me? Do you Gilbert Grissom?"

Grissom had crossed the floor and grabbed her into his arms. "Never again." He tried to kiss her but she pushed him away. "Stay away from me."

Grissom stood there helplessly. It had all been a huge mistake. He had just put them through hell and back over a simple mistake. _I'm a moron._

"Sara, I'll do anything. I'll get down on my knees and grovel. I'll do anything to make this right."

"Right? You tell me that it was all a mistake, treat me like shit and then want me back after someone might be interested. Right? If I had my gun I'd shoot you! There's a murder gene in my family you know? I can feel it wanting to surface right here, right now!"

Grissom smirked. She was cute when she was mad. She saw the smirk and it made her fume. "I may not have a gun but I'm sure I can find another weapon. Let's see, how many crime scenes have we investigated? I'm sure I can improvise!"

"Don't you see why I was so upset. I thought you had aborted our child. It made me angry that you would do such a thing. Once I had calmed down, I had already pushed you away."

"You put me through hell and for what a mistake! We can't be together if we can't communicate. If you won't open up to me then I'm finished with this. It hurts too much."

He tried to hold her but she backed away.

"I could kill you right now."

"But you won't. I love you Sara."

He reached for her again and took her into his arms. He held her close and when she didn't resist, he kissed her gently. He smiled when she returned the kiss. His chances were improving.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter Twenty Six:**

He led her over to the couch and they sat there quietly. He was afraid to let go of her for fear she would not be receptive to him again. Grissom kissed her gently on the head and whispered softly to her. "I've been an ass."

She sniffled and continued to remain silent. She didn't pull away so he continued while he had the nerve.

"When you left here that day, I spent the next two weeks going through the 'what ifs'. What if I came back and you were pregnant? I was surprised at how quickly I was hoping that you were. I never thought of having a family. God Sara, look at my age. I'm lucky that you would even consider sharing your life with me. Anyway, the more I thought about it the more excited I got but then my excitement turned to fear."

She looked up at him "why?"

"I knew I would be happy if you were pregnant. I would have preferred to wait until we were married but the end result would be the same. I wasn't sure about how you would feel."

"I would have been happy."

Grissom smiled and kissed her again. "Yes, but I was afraid that when I proposed to you, you would think that I was only marrying you because you were pregnant. I know how your mind works sometimes Sara."

_He's right. I would have felt that way. _Sara leaned back into his shoulder and rested her head.

"I decided to take matters into my own hands." Grissom got up and walked over to his bag. He pulled out the small black box he had kept all those months. He returned to the couch and knelt down beside Sara.

"I spent the remainder of my leave looking for the right ring. I was going to propose to you the first chance we were alone."

Sara stared at the small black box. She had not expected this. She was taken completely off guard. Grissom could see the confusion in her eyes.

"I will always love you Sara. My love is unconditional. I don't expect you to say yes. I want to give this to you so that you will know that I truly love you even though sometimes I'm an ass. There are no strings attached. I want you to be happy. If you decide after this trip that you want to quit your job or relocate then I will support your decision. I may be in therapy for the rest of my life but I just want to see you smile again Sara, and know that I am the reason for it."

He placed the box in the palm of her hand and closed her fingers over it. He kissed her gently on the lips and then got up. She continued to stare at the box but didn't dare open it. Grissom pulled her up from the couch and held her in his arms.

"I think we have talked enough tonight. We should try to get some sleep. I believe you took the couch last time so it's my turn." She started to protest but he grinned and gently prodded her toward the bedroom. "I think I could sleep on the floor tonight…" He remembered the first time they had made love there and he tried to back track.

"What I'm trying to say is that we're both tired and I don't think we are going to have any trouble sleeping."

He laid down on the couch and closed his eyes. She stood there for a moment and then closed the bedroom door. Her mind was spinning. She sat there on the bed and opened the box. She swiped at the tears as she looked at the ring. It was perfect. He wasn't and she loved him for it.

Sara changed into her gown and tried to sleep but his words kept coming back to her. She missed having him next to her. She closed her eyes but the sleep would not come. Finally she opened the door and waited to see if he was asleep.

"Sara, are you okay?"

Her voice was barely a whisper but he made out every word, "Would you sleep with me?"

Grissom spooned his body up next to hers and whispered in her ear, "I'm glad I get to sleep with you instead of Nick."

"It meant a lot to me that you would ask Nick to do that."

"It was Nick or Greg. I trusted Nick to watch over you. He loves you like a sister. Greg on the other hand…"

"I wouldn't have let Greg stay over."

"I'm glad I made the right choice."

"Griss…"

"yeah"

"I would have said yes back then… you know if you had asked me."

"What about now?" The silence hurt. He knew that it would take some time to gain her trust again.

"I uh…"

"You don't have to say anything Sara. If you do decide, then just wear the ring. I'll know the answer. I can wait. I can wait for as long as it takes for you to know that I don't intend to screw up this time. I'll get it right this time."

Sara rolled over and kissed him. It was gentle but sensual. He wanted to give her more but he wasn't sure if she was ready. He could wait.

Note: please don't forget to give a review! Sniffle sniffle!


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter Twenty Seven: **

The days passed quickly. They spent the mornings on long walks or sitting by the fire chatting. They talked about their childhoods and funny tales of their teenage years. Some moments brought back pain and they worked through it. Other times were joyful and downright playful.

Grissom taught Sara how to fish. Sara taught Grissom how to stand in the boat without tipping it over. They even ventured into town a few times for dinner at a local diner. They were happy and Sara smiled. She smiled a lot. It nagged at Grissom that he didn't see the ring on her finger yet but then he knew that it would take time.

They had one last night before they were to return to Vegas. They spent the time sitting by the fire. Grissom watched Sara and knew that she was thinking about the last time they had said their goodbyes.

"I'm glad I'm leaving with you this time. We can talk on our phones while I follow you back."

Sara pulled him up close to her and kissed him urgently. "I would follow you." He returned the kiss. His kisses trailed down her neck but he hesitated before dipping his head lower. He looked at her and she smiled.

She knew he was waiting for her to initiate their lovemaking. He had been patient and had not made any advances during the time that they had spent together. Sara pulled at his shirt and began to unbuckle his pants. He grinned and began to unclothe her as well.

They lay before the fire much like the first time. Their bodies entwined together. Grissom reveled in the feel of her. Sara marveled at how he could make her feel so alive. Their lovemaking was slow but intense. He cried out her name with each thrust and kissed her just as they both released their passion. It was better than the first time but it

would be the last time that Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom made love.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter Twenty Eight:**

They packed up the cars and closed up the cabin. Each was feeling a bit melancholy about leaving. They had found each other here twice and now they were returning to Vegas. Grissom grabbed Sara and held her for a moment.

"Remember, keep your phone handy so we can play I spy. Okay?"

Sara smiled and glanced back at the cabin. "I'm going to miss this place."

"Me too. We can always come back."

Sara kissed him and got into the car. Grissom followed. He knew he always would.

Sara sat at the diner with the gang. She had missed them. They were happy that Sara had returned rested and…. happy. There were the usual questions.

"So Sara, where did you go?" asked Greg

"Nowhere"

"That's not true. I drove by your apartment and you were never there," pouted Greg.

"Greg, I'm telling you I went to Nowhere."

"Wait, wait, I get it" said Warrick. "You went to a place called Nowhere, right?"

"Right."

Nick had been watching Sara and observing her actions. She noticed he was staring at her. "What?"

"Did he ask?"

Sara smiled. Nick was always perceptive when it came to her. "Yes"

"What did you say?"

"I didn't."

Nick dropped the spoon he was toying with onto the plate. "Why not? You know the man loves you, Sara. He's been in hell."

"Wait, wait, I'm not following this conversation," said Warrick.

"Neither am I," said Greg.

Catherine and Brass walked up and sat down at the table. "Sorry we're late but we had to wrap up a case. Now, what is it that you guys are not following?"

"Sara and Nick are having a cryptic conversation. They were just about to enlighten us to its meaning, weren't you?" asked Greg.

Grissom walked into the diner and the gang waved at him. They were relieved to see that he had taken some time off and gotten some rest. In fact, he and Sara looked great.

"Hey, sorry I'm late. I had to meet with Ecklie." Grissom came over and pulled up a chair beside Sara making Greg move. He reluctantly did so.

"Hi honey!" said Grissom as he leaned over and kissed Sara.

Brass and Catherine looked at one another, "I think we got here just in time."

Warrick grinned. "Now I get it. Sara and Grissom went to Nowhere together and worked out their little problem. I still don't understand what was he supposed to have asked and she was supposed to answer?"

Catherine spewed her coffee out at the last comment. "Correction, I think we missed something."

Brass grinned, "Something juicy."

Grissom had begun to fidget. They were about to find out that he had asked but Sara had not given him an answer. Sara reached over and held his hand. She turned to him and smiled. He returned the smile and kissed her gently on the lips.

They all smiled. Greg just looked shocked.

"I'm famished. Why don't we order," said Grissom trying to change the subject.

"Come on Grissom. Let us admire the ring," said Catherine.

Grissom's head shot around to see the ring on Sara's finger. Sara smiled at the expression on his face. "I wanted to wait and answer you when our family was with us."

Grissom smiled. "You make me very happy."

"I love you too." She had not said those words in a long time. He was thankful he had gained her trust again.

"So when is the wedding?" asked Brass

"This afternoon," replied Sara.

It was Grissom's turn to spew his coffee out.

Brass waved the waiter down. "Could we get some different coffee something must be wrong with this stuff."

The table broke out in laughter. Grissom and Sara didn't mind. It was their family. He leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Good thing I went by city hall and got the marriage license this morning." His eyes twinkled.

Sara's eyes widened. She didn't care. She loved the man, faults and all.

It was nice that the next time they made love it was in Vegas as Mr. and Mrs. Grissom.

Note:

I hope you enjoyed the story. I was sad when I finished this last chapter this morning but then I thought I had better get to writing on "The Sessions" again. Thanks to everyone who took the time to leave a review. While I am happy when someone places it on their alert list, it's great to hear from the readers. You have been wonderful. I know I will need to say that it's complete but I just hate to leave the couple that I have grown to love and of course obsess over. Let me know what you thought of the ending.

Many Thanks!

Penny


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